safe experiments with butts and monkeys

You know what is hilarious when you are trying to kill time in the Phoenix airport? Potty words mad libs (mundorff children contributions in bold):

Science Lab:
Once a week, we have a science laboratory class, and we get to do
safe experiments with butts and monkeys. Our teacher, Ms. Dorothy the Dinosaur, shows us how to dissect boogers. First we take out the internal butt zits and chickens and draw pictures of them in our notebooks. We have to work happily or else we will make a mess.
We also learn to use chemicals to make squishy things like inexpensive household poop and deodorizers that make a toenail smell like a bottlecap. Last week we had a creepy accident in the lab. Mom mixed some bleach with hot dogs and added some orange juice and the mixture exploded and blew two boobies through the roof. So now our teacher makes us all wear safety shorts during science class.