Friday, March 29, 2013

Samantha and I are wrapping up a week in Tucson. While Charlie was on a school trip to France and Spain, the girls enjoyed visiting family, Spring Training games, Pac 12 Softball, NCAA basketball tournament games on TV, swimming, sunshine, and some cocktails for mom. This is the first time we have been to Tucson since Chuck died. Sammie posted on his facebook wall last night.

I would do anything to make his absence less difficult for our kids.

Chuck absolutely loved Arizona. He was a hot weather guy, loved to get to Spring Training games and was close to my dad. We came twice in 2011 - in January to see the Ducks in the BCS National Championship game, and then again over Spring break to catch some baseball and visit with the folks.

He spent years talking up the possibility of moving to Arizona. My response never changed... “The kids and I will miss you.”

I’m deathly afraid of snakes (my father spent a week in the hospital after getting bit by a rattlesnake on his property), the heat during the summer is unbearable and I have a hard time imagining myself ever leaving Oregon. If you would have asked me right after Chuck died - I would have told you I will likely leave Eugene as soon as Charlie graduates - then I started wanting to wait until Samantha did- not wanting to pull her from her softball program, her band etc. I'm not feeling like that anymore. I'm spending more time with friends (old and new) that make me very happy- would miss my gym and my Ducks. If I can stay gainfully employed - I am now at the point where I really don't want to leave Eugene.

Although floating in the pool yesterday - enjoying weather the Northwest won't see until August -  I wonder if he may have had a point about the appeal of Tucson. Pretty easy to spot the Oregonian. Probably should have made a more sincere effort to get a tan.

With the help of family, the kids and I have continued to take regular vacations the past couple years. We have escaped to Mexico over the holidays, visited with my Aunt and Uncle at Lake Anna, VA, gone to Southern Cal for a Disney/Angels trip and are now spending the week in Arizona. I find the downtime totally restorative. The early cocktail hours, lounging around in the sunshine, going to ball games - makes the rest of our overly demanding lives seem a little more doable. 

It’s time to start thinking about where I want to go next. And with whom.